Welcome to our blog! We are here for one purpose. We are passionately concerned about families in transition. When families disintegrate and then reintegrate into a new structure, every person in the original home is affected. For the most part, there are going to be negative effects, though not necessarily to each person, and not necessarily to a significant degree.
There is a very common and often applicable truth here: time heals all things. In many divorces, separations and custody cases, time does in fact seem to heal – although we all realize that it is not time that heals anything. Time is the movement of events within which healing takes places.
Healing can come passively, as individual’s memories fade and new experiences replace the memories. Nothing is really required for the parties to consciously engage in or practice to bring this about. They simply move on and live their lives. New schedules and routines are developed, new friends are made, and new loves are found.
Of course these things happen to most who go through a divorce, legal separation, or custody case.
However, some situations require an active healing process. Some situations require developing active practices and habits designed to help the healing process. Sometimes this includes bringing into the picture professionals who can help facilitate the healing process, including counselors, individual and family therapists, parent coaches, parent coordinators, and clergy.
Research indicates that the longest-lasting and deepest harm to children doesn’t come from the divorce itself; it comes from the children being exposed to the conflict between the parents. Children suffer when they are exposed to parent’s conflict by overhearing their arguing, being aware of the their disagreements, and understanding that issues regarding parenting time and property will be battled out in court. These little ones are the biggest losers when it comes to conflict.
The state of Nebraska, through its legislative process, has made it clear that they are very concerned about families as they go through these family crises. To help engender a positive process, the Nebraska Parenting Act of 2008 requires that: 1) parents attend parenting classes to learn about the process and understand the needs of children as their parents separate and how to keep the interests of these little people at the front and center as the most vulnerable parties in the process and 2) parents attempt mediation as a way to have the parents create their own parenting plan rather that have the court create it. Research indicates that a parenting plan created through mediation results in less conflict and litigation after the court process is done.
We encourage you to avail yourself of any and all resources you can find and afford to find peace and resolution to conflict relating to you and your children. We truly desire that you bequeath to your children a legacy of peace, harmony, and willingness to work together.
PS. It is out intention to expand this blog to include regular contributions, helpful articles by family professionals, and instructional videos. Please check back!